As a kid I had anger issues, and counting to ten never really worked. I got into fights I didn't need to, and stuck my nose where it shouldn't go.
The best teacher I ever had, hi Ms. Piorkowski, told me to ask myself these questions.
Jump to heading Question 1
Does it need to be said?
Cut the chaff from the wheat. Do you really, really, really need to say whatever it is you're about to say?
I know you're heated, I know sometimes it feels good to write angry, but ask yourself this before hitting send.
Jump to heading Question 2
Does it need to be said right now?
Yes, it needs to be said. Someone should! This isn't a crowded movie theater, you're not shouting "FIRE!" You have identified a real, serious issue. Maybe not outrage, but course correction is needed.
But... maybe there's a better time to say what it is you've got queued up. Like, maybe it can wait until you're out in the play ground? Or in the guidance counselor's office? Maybe write it down and set it aside for a little bit.
Jump to heading Question 3
Does it need to be said right now by you?
Okay, this time you are actually doing the right thing, and this is the time. You're sticking up for the little guy! Telling the bully to "knock it off, numb nuts!" The time is now. The place is here! Let's do this thing!!!!
But are you the right person to say it?
It's not like you aren't allowed to say it. But are you going to be shutting someone else up, someone who might know better than you, so you can be the one to say it?
Jump to heading The end result
Now, we've got something that needs to be said. It is urgent that someone says something about this. Gosh darn it, you have the know how, the experience, the empathy, the chutzpah to say it and mean it.
Either that or you realized that you're probably out of your depth, and need to learn a bit more before you toss your hat in the ring.
It could be clear that, while it is important, the weekly standup isn't the time to bring it up. Instead you're going to find a place where it makes more sense.
What if everyone also felt the air get sucked out of the room because of what Clint said? Maybe it is understood, and you don't need to bring the hammer down.
It is entirely possible that you can take a deep breath, and let someone else do the talking. Or fall on their own sword in a spectacular blazing glory.